


Operation Derek Hale's Sex Life (D.H.S.L.)

by DylanOhbrien



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Office, Awkwardness, BAMF Lydia, Covert Operation, Crack, Derek Gets Help From The Ladies Because He's Useless, Derek is Derek, Drunkenness, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hilarity Ensues, Humor, Kira Must Be Protected At All Possible Costs, M/M, Pop Culture, Stiles Wears Glasses, code names, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 11:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1468255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DylanOhbrien/pseuds/DylanOhbrien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles works at Derek's family's company. Derek may or may not be a little bit in love with him. But it's just that Derek has an important position in the company, and Stiles works down at IT. So to prevent a huge scandal that could end up on magazines for months, Derek pulls on his big boy pants and <em>pines</em>. Which works.</p><p>Until Laura Hale meets Lydia Martin, and shit sort of hits the fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Derek Hale's Sex Life (D.H.S.L.)

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: I am going to rewrite the shit out of this at some point.

The first time Derek sees Stiles in a pair of glasses, he runs into a wall.

Well, Derek argues that he didn't run _into_ the wall, so much as he bump into it lightly with his shoulder because he wasn't really looking where he was going; and there may have been some dirt in his eye. Maybe. But under _no_ circumstance was it because Stiles happened to look absolutely amazingly gorgeous in a pair glasses. Not at all. And actually, it's not like Derek really _cares_ how Stiles looks, because that is an absolutely ridiculous notion.

("You are so gone for that boy."

"No, I'm not."

Laura snorts. "Keep telling yourself that, Derek."

Derek scowls. "Shut up, Laura.")

In any case, the sound of Derek hitting a wall made Stiles' eyes snap up in curiosity, and when he sees Derek rubbing his shoulder and glaring at the wall like it personally committed some sort of crime against him, the corner of his lips curl up. "Mr. Hale? You okay there?"

Derek's head snaps up to look at Stiles (and _oh my God_ whiplash is a bitch) and he blinks in confusion. "What."

Stiles looks at him, brows raising in amusement, and snaps his book shut. He spins around in his chair and leans forward against the desk, getting as close to Derek as possible without getting up. "Well," He hums. "You're staring at that wall like it murdered your cute little puppy right in front of your eyes. Not that I'm assuming you have a cute little puppy or anything. It's just a simile. Anyway. Penny for your thoughts?"

Derek stares for a moment, both admiring Stiles' nice face and amused-yet-unamused at his antics. "It's nothing, Mr. Stilinski."

Stiles shrugs. "Okay, well, whatever you say."

Derek nods. "I hope you have a good day, then."

Stiles only grins and _fuck_ , it's totally Boner City in Derek's pants. "You too."

Derek nods at him again and begins to make his way past Stiles' desk and up to his office further down the hall when he hears Stiles yell out, "By the way Mr. Hale, you can totally call me Stiles! If you want to, I mean." and Derek feels his heart leap in his chest wildly. Then that's when he says something he might almost regret saying, because apparently his brain-to-mouth filter is just as irrevocably damaged as Stiles' happens to be.

"Only if you call me Derek, Mr. Stilinski."

He hears a high pitched squeak, and when he turns to look at the IT boy, Stiles is sputtering nonsense and looking at Derek like he just said he was a pretty butterfly. Derek raises his brows at Stiles and shrugs a shoulder lightly, turning to walk to his office, leaving Stiles with a confused expression on his face and mouth flapping like a fish. He makes a point to ignore Erica, his assistant and sadly best friend, as he walks past her. He doesn't need to look at her to see the smirk on her face as she files her nails.

"Real smooth, boss."

Devil, thy name is Erica.

Derek grunts and pushes his way into his office, continuing to ignore his assistant (or trying to at least). Erica follows him. Of course she does, the nosey little brat. She has nothing better to do than to pry into his personal life. According to her, it is her duty as "his best friend in the world." That girl is a nightmare and she is honestly going to be the end of him.

"I wasn't kidding." Is what she says, her red heels clicking against the floor. She stands in front of his desk, hands splayed out on top of it and a look of unamusement etched out on her face. "That was actually smooth as hell, but sadly, Stilinski is Stilinski. You need to step your game up if you want that boy to pull his head out of his ass and realize you want to climb that body like a tree. Tech is his forte. Sexy people that are totally into him? Yeah, not so much."

"Miss Reyes, this is an hardly an appropriate conversation, especially in a working environment." Derek deadpans.

Erica snorts. "Of course, _Mr. Hale_."

Derek smiles tightly, eyebrows raised at her. "Will that be all, Miss Reyes."

"That will be all." Erica begrudgingly repeats. "Honestly Derek, you suck."

"Thank you. I've been told it's one of my many talents."

"Oh my God I never want to hear those words leave your mouth ever again. Do you hear me? That is gross and I do not want to know that." She turns to leave with a roll of her eyes. "Also, maybe you should try and be a little more subtle when you're checking someone out. You might not run into a wall next time." And then she's out of the room with a wave of her hand.

 _Fuck_.

"Don't tell Laura." He calls out.

"Too late!"

Work becomes more difficult when you know your sister is going to make fun of you for the rest of your life. Even if you are twenty-five and successfully run a family company. Dammit.

* * *

Glasses, Derek decides, are pretty much the bane of his existence. Because Stiles takes to wearing a pair of glasses each morning and _God_ , is it even humanly possible to look so hot in a pair of fucking glasses? Like, seriously, Derek thinks he's going to go crazy and he'll probably give Bruce Banner a run for his money in the complete loss of control department. Except instead of going _Hulk smash_ on everything, Derek would just shove Stiles against the closest surface and kiss him. _Hard_.

And on top of everything else, Derek still has to help successfully run his family's company all while nursing a terribly huge crush on a co worker, and all because Peter would probably run the company to the ground if it was left only in his hands (not that Peter wasn't business savvy, it's just that he isn't very trustworthy once he gets a hold of ridiculous amounts of money). So, Derek's life? Yeah, it really fucking _sucks_.

On a particular Wednesday morning, when Stiles happens to have the most ridiculous bed hair and those dumb glasses are just, _just_ sliding off his nose as he focuses on his computer screen, Derek wants to scream. He walks past, eyes looking everywhere except for at Stiles, and heads straight for his office. Erica is already sitting behind her desk, leaning in her seat, and reading a magazine. Derek still isn't sure whether or not he regrets hiring his best friend as his personal assistant.

He walks past her and calls out, "Good morning, Erica."

She barely even looks up at him. But she does close the magazine and pick up her tablet. "Morning, Derek."

After fiddling with her tablet for a second, Erica stands and follows him into his office, heels clicking against the floor, and she begins reading off his schedule for the day. Derek is suddenly reminded of why he hired her in the first place. Not because she's his best friend, but because Erica may be a bit nosey (read: really fucking nosey) and sarcastic, but she runs like a machine and always gets her work turned in on time and looking pristine.

"I ordered your coffee earlier, it should be up in a few minutes. Black, just like your withering little soul. I also ordered you some of those cute tiny heart shaped cookies. And I happened to take the liberty of ordering myself something. So, thanks for treating me to a cup of coffee, boss." She smiles and cradles the tablet to her chest before turning and walking out.

Derek doesn't complain, because he not-so-secretly loves those cookies, and Erica always buys herself something to snack on or drink, so it's nothing new. He sighs, "Thanks, Erica." and begins to work and go over files.

Eventually Erica comes back in with a coffee in hand and a box of cookies in the other, placing them on his desk. He mutters a thank you and she dutifully reminds him of the meeting he has with his uncle later in the day before leaving the room with a swish of her hips, shutting the door behind her. Ugh, Derek does not, under any circumstance, want to actually attend that so-called meeting. Because honestly, all it even is is an hour of Peter making fun of Derek and getting _nothing_ done.

Derek just throws himself into his work and pushes the meeting to the back of his head. He ends up with shoulders hunched and neck craning and oh my God he feels like his hands are going to fall off and any moment. And then there's a knock at the door and Derek totally thinks it's Erica because he responds with a loud grunt. "What do you want?"

And when the door is pushed open it isn't Erica's smirking face he sees (actually, he can still see her with a smug grin on her face from behind her desk, but whatever, that's not the point), but Stiles, who looks nervous to be in the same room as Derek and is holding what seems to be a toolbox. And he's still wearing those dumb glasses. Seriously, Derek is starting to wonder if he just uncovered some sort of hidden kink because _fucckkk_.

"Uh, Mr. Hale." His voice sounds higher than normal. "Can I get a come in?"

"Sure, come in Mr. Stilinski."

Stiles gives him a sheepish grin and pushes himself into the room, slowly closing it behind him. He fiddles with his hands for a few moments, staring down at them as they twisted around. Stiles bites his lip, and _holy shit_ he really has no idea what this is doing to Derek, does he? Of course he doesn't, otherwise he would stop because there is at least a sixty percent chance Derek is going to get a boner within the next five minutes.

He coughs. "What did you want to speak about?"

Stiles blinks and looks up, all other actions stopping at once. "Speak about. What I wanted to, uh, speak about. Nothing? I mean, they told me to come over here because you were having issues with your computer, apparently. At least that's what my supervisor said when she sent me over here." Derek just stares, and Stiles stares back, eyes looking panicked behind the frames. "And now I see that evidently you are experiencing no issues at all. I suppose I'll have to take that up with my supervisor then. So, uh, I guess I'll go?"

"I'm not experiencing any issues, so yes." Derek says, even though what he wants to say is _no, please stay_. "I'll let you know if anything comes up, though."

With something akin to a squeak, Stiles manages to trip out of the room, calling out, "Yeah, totally. Of course."

Derek waits until Stiles disappears and he lets out a sigh. "Erica?"

She pushes a button on the phone on her desk, and her voice is fuzzy over the intercom. "Yeah, boss?"

"Erica, can you come in here for a bit? I need to ask you something."

He can hear her sigh, and the squeak of her chair as she rolls it back. Her face pops through the door, looking at him expectantly. "So, what's up?"

"Is there any particular reason Stiles was in here saying something about my computer having issues? Or what that a complete accident?" Derek asks, because over the years he's learned that if it's anyone's fault, it's Erica's (or Laura's, but she's still in Miami and is unaware of Derek's situation at the moment; at lease, he hopes she's unaware).

Erica scoffs.

"Wasn't me. Honest. You should take that up with the head of the IT department."

"And who is that." It isn't a question.

"How the hell should I know? I don't make it my business to learn the position of every worker in the building." Erica shrugs, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

Derek lets out a breath through his nose. "I want a name in less than an hour, Erica."

"I'll get right on it, _sir_." Erica says with a snort and turns to leave.

" _Erica_."

It actually takes a lot to get the name. He has to promise Erica dinner after they get off work ("And I don't want any of that cheap fast food shit, Hale. I know how much money you make.") before she finally gives in and looks up the head of the IT department in the database. It takes a few tense moments of Erica fiddling with her table and Derek sitting there, tense and stiff, before he finally gets the name. Lydia Martin.

* * *

Derek actually meets Lydia through actual, genuine technology issues. It's actually pretty amazing because Derek is probably the least patient person ever, and has been half tempted to march to the IT department and demand to see a Lydia Martin. Lydia is quite a terror, Derek discovers. She is a petite woman of 5'3" with a sharp gaze and an even sharper mind. She has this I-don't-take-any-shit attitude about her that Derek can respect. He doesn't even stop to wonder why she is in charge of the IT department.

Derek is working through some documents Peter gave to him (more like tossed in his arms because he was too lazy to file them out himself) when he hears Erica buzz him. "Head of the IT Department coming your way, Derek. She looks like Satan. Good luck, I hope you live."

"Thanks, Erica." Derek frowns, eyebrows raised.

"You are welcome." Erica says, and Derek can just hear the cheerfulness in her voice. She's probably hoping he dies.

Lydia walks into the room with a confident air about her, face empty of expression.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Hale." She says tersely, head held high. She sits in one of the spare chairs in front of Derek's desk and crosses her legs, laying out some documents in from of him."I needed to speak with you about the bug issues that arose last week within some of the computers. It seems a glitch found it's way into the mainframe and went into some rogue computers. I actually had two of my workers, a Stiles Stilinski and Kira Yukimura, work on fixing it. They've been working on a rather successful algorithm for the past week and everything should be back in tip top shape by the end of this week."

Derek nods, and forces his heart to calm down because Jesus Christ it just started pounding away the moment Stiles was mentioned. And Derek isn't in high school anymore and he is supposed to have more control than that. "Right, though I don't understand why you didn't just take this up with my uncle. He's much more qualified to deal with this sort of situation."

Lydia grimaced. "Not to be crass, but he always comes on to me and I don't appreciate being looked down at like that simply for being attractive. Also, I know you're so smitten you refuse to look at anyone else, no matter what they look like."

"Smitten, Ms. Martin?" Derek raises his brow.

"Smitten, attracted to, crushing on. Use whatever description pleases you the most." Lydia dismisses it with a wave of her hand. "Anyway―"

"Wait." Derek says, stopping her from speaking, and he's almost sure she isn't used to that because of the way her perfectly plucked eyebrows shoot up. "Let's just say, for the sake of this conversation, I was smitten. Whom would the object of my affections even be?"

He regrets the words the moment they're out of his mouth, because Lydia smirks, and Derek is suddenly reminded of Laura. That is, under no circumstance, good news, because anyone that reminds him of Laura ends up being a terror in his life and Derek most definitely does not need that right now. "We are both well aware of who is subjected to your affections, Mr. Hale. Anyway, as I was saying, I will set up a more professional meeting with your secretary, and I contact you later in this week about the direction this little hiccup is heading. Yes?"

"Of course."

Lydia smiles, and looks nothing but smug as she sets up some other documents in front of him. God, that woman gives a whole new meaning to the term _Hell In High Heels_. And fuck she knows, he's screwed, he's so fucking screwed. Derek just wants her to leave so he can panic in peace and maybe curl up on the floor and die. Of course, she doesn't. In fact. she stays for at least another hour, pouring over bouts of information and algorithms and pretty much everything that can even come from the IT department. She never brings up Stiles again though, but Derek has a feeling she doesn't have to, because she just _knows_.

When she finishes, she gathers up her thick folder of documents and clutches it against her chest. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Hale."

"Right. Of course."

And then she's out of the office with a spring in her step and a swish of her hips. Derek just stares at the wall for a moment, thinking about how fucked up his life is. He feels mostly numb, and when his break kicks back up and starts functioning, Derek does the first sane thing that he can think of. He buzzes Erica. Derek can see her through the open door, sitting at her desk and alternating between filing her nails and doing actual honest-to-God work. "Erica. Erica, I think I have an issue."

She looks over her desk to stare at him with a questioning gaze, and he can see her move to push the button. "Are we talking a work related issue, or a you being head-over-heels in love with a co worker sort of issue?"

Derek scowls. "The first one. Second one. Little bit of both."

She's silent for a moment, and then her voice sounds through the intercom.

"I'll order you some coffee, and then we'll have some bonding time, 'kay?"

No Derek, don't do it, don't agree―

"Okay."

He is weak.

Ten minutes later, when Erica comes bounding into the room, holding up a steaming coffee, the words pour out of his mouth. "Why did I let you talk me into taking this job?"

She places the cup on his desk and sits across from his, elbows resting on the desk. "The pay was good, and you needed the money. Also you look hot in a suit."

"This is all your fault." He grumbles, taking the coffee and holding it in his hands. "I hate you for this. If I hadn't let you talk me into it, I wouldn't be in this situation."

Erica scoffs and stands to shut the door. "How the hell was I supposed to know that you would take one look at Stilinski and fall head-over-heels in love? You had never looked at anyone in that way. Not since― Anyway, I'm sorry."

Her voice is softer, and Derek closes his eyes and looks away. He hates it when someone brings up his past. Especially Kate.

See, Kate is probably one of the main reasons Derek sucks at feelings. She tricked him into thinking she loved him, and then right when he was thinking of proposing, she tried to steal all his money and run away with some guy, which resulted in her going to prison and most of her family blaming him for it. It fucking sucked and Derek doesn't like to talk about it. And he knows that not everyone is Kate, and not everyone is going to try to use him, but he can't help but have that thought in the back of his mind every single time he sees someone he might be interested in.

Not that he's been interested in many people ever since Kate. Sure, there's been maybe a girl or boy that he thought was nice, but even if he wanted to go for it, the thought of Kate pops up in the back of his mind and he backs off completely. He doesn't exactly _put himself out there_ anymore.

Then Stiles waltzed into his life and he was so fucking _perfect_ and Derek was just gone for him.

Naturally, that scared the hell out of Derek for a couple of months. Sometimes it still freaks him out, even with the help of Erica and Laura.

"It's fine." Derek swallows, gripping the coffee cup tightly.

"No, it's not. This is the first time you've tried to let someone in in a long time." Erica sighs. "I get why you're freaking over it. Really, I do. But Stiles isn't Kate."

"I know that."

And he does. Stiles smiles and laughs like he doesn't care who's watching, he's a disgusting eater and unnaturally in love with comics. He isn't Kate.

"Great." Erica smiles softly.

"Lydia martin is a monster, by the way."

Erica laughs. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay. She knows I like Stiles."

"No way? Holy shit!" Erica's mouth falls open.

"I'm doomed."

"The gaydar on that woman is amazing." Erica whispers in awe.

"Erica, can we focus on the actual situation, and not the talent of Lydia Martin's _gaydar_?" Derek asks, and he can't honestly believe the word gaydar just came out of his mouth.

"Right, right. Well how did she tell you? Is she going to blackmail you for a raise? Make you show up to work completely naked? Make you bake some of those delicious pies you make for her?" Erica asks, leaning forward in her seat. "Because those things are delicious as fuck and if she thinks she can get away with that, then she has another thing coming."

Derek blinks at her. "Ha ha. No, she didn't really make it seem like she wanted something out of it. She just seemed like she wanted me to know that she knew, I guess?"

Erica slaps her hand across the desk. "Well, hey, problem solved then!"

"Problem not solved. She knows, and that is a big problem." Derek grumbles.

Erica shrugs nonchalantly. "Personally, I don't actually think there's anything you can do about it. I mean, it's not like you were stubble _at all_ , so you sort of brought this on yourself."

"You suck."

"Love you too! Now finish your coffee, it's getting cold."

* * *

 

In the end, Derk's life sucks a lot. Because Lydia Martin _does_ want something from Derek.

She just takes her sweet time getting around to telling him what it is.

* * *

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee. Coffee is probably Derek's reason for living. A gift from the Gods, if he's being completely honest. So, when he walks into his office to find a large black coffee sitting on his desk (and it's from his favorite shop!), he should be praising the heavens above, right? Except, the thing is, that aside from the coffee, there is something else in the room. Well, someone else.

Laura, in all her glory, is sitting in a chair―Derek's chair―sipping at her own drink. Her legs are tossed on top of the desk, heels gently clicking against the wood and Derek really hopes they won't leave a mark. She turns to look at him, eyes blazing with this stupid shit eating grin on her face. "Brother of mine! How have you been?"

"Fine." He grounds out, still standing and looking awkward. "I thought you were still in Miami."

"I was." She sighs, pulling her legs back under the desk. "But it was so warm, and I missed my family! The only person who I could actually talk to out there, face-to-face, was Eric. We all know how he has a stick up his ass, even worse than you do."

"I don't have a―"

"You totally do." Laura cuts him off.

(He doesn't.)

Laura puts down the cup and opens her arms, making grabby hand. With a sigh, Derek complies to her demand and gives her a small hug. He did miss her, really he did. It's just, he's not that good with affection, and Laura understands and doesn't hate him for it. She sticks around for a few minutes, quickly filling him in on as much as she possibly could within the span of those minutes. Most of the information is sort of useless. Stuff like: "I sort of hopped around from job to job for a bit" or "There was this amazing coffee shop there! Best coffee of my life, let me tell you" or "Eric was so fucking boring, as per usual."

Until.

"And of course, I didn't meet anyone special. I mean, a few fabulous one night stands, but no sparks. How typical. But, I did happen to hear from a certain birdy that _you_ did meet a little someone. I want details, Derek."

Shit. Shit. _Shiittt_. Derek completely forgot Erica always goes babbling off to Laura anytime something remotely interesting happens in his life. He knows she is never going to let the whole Stiles issue go. It's just not happening, he's not that lucky.

Derek coughs, trying to cover his red face. "Laura, I have to work. Can we talk about this later?"

She pouts, "Aw, you're no fun. What's his name? Erica wouldn't tell me."

"Go away."

"Not until you tell me three things. One, what's his name? Two, how have you been while I was gone? Aside from the obvious brewing romance, I mean. And three, is he good in bed?" She smirks when Derek's face goes bright red.

"Please leave."

Eventually Derek manages to convince Laura to leave, but only after she makes him promise to take her out to dinner for some sibling bonding time after he gets out of work (and that he tells her the name of the man he's mooning over). Though Derek knows that instead of actually leaving the building, she probably just went a few floors up to go fuck with Peter a bit, and then maybe go off to treat herself to some breakfast. Derek sighs and gets to work, making it a point to ignore the impending dinner of doom looming over his head.

Half an hour and three texts from Peter (which read: ' _send help_ ' ' _derek!!_ ' and ' _i hate you_ ') later, Erica comes in, looking wide eyes and panicked. "Shit! I overslept. I totally overslept and I am so so so sorry, Derek!"

Derek nods, and it's sort of nice to be reminded that Erica isn't a machine, and she accidentally oversleeps some mornings or doesn't bother to brush the wild mane she calls hair. "It's fine. But it would have been nice to know Laura was waiting in here so I had some time to prepare myself for the inevitable disaster."

Erica's panic dissolves into happy squealing almost instantly. "Laura's back? Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"You just got here, Erica, and I actually just found out this morning. She made a surprise visit, and I found her sitting on my desk." Derek says with a shrug, sipping at his coffee, which is almost gone at that point.

"You still should have told me." Erica scowls, crossing her arms.

"I will do that. Next time, and after I get a time machine. In the meanwhile, I would like to know when my next meeting is because I genuinely have no idea." Derek says, face blank.

"God, you are useless without me."

* * *

After Derek gets off work, Laura ends up dragging him to some small hole-in-the-wall diner that Derek has actually ran by in the past before, but never actually bothered to notice. It looks quaint and private, and Derek actually has to applaud Laura's skill.

"This looks nice." He says stiffly.

Laura snorts as she pulls him over to a booth. "Yeah. I used to come here before I left for Miami a few months ago. It was close enough to the office and also there was a cute waitress. I don't think she works here anymore, though."

Ah, Laura.

"Charming."

"Oh, be quiet." Laura scoffs, leaning back in her seat.

The booth is a little too small for Derek, and he fits in it snugly. Despite the small space, he carefully peels off his jacket and places it next to him, and rolls up the sleeves of his white button-down. A waiter comes and hands both of them a menu, and Laura flashes him a bright smile, while Derek lets out a grunt that he hopes has some resemblance to the words "thank you".

"Eloquent as always, Derbear." Laura says with a smirk, not even taking her eyes off the menu. "So, anyway, are you gonna tell me about this gentlemen caller of yours? If that's even what he is."

Derek's eyes narrow in suspicion. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Laura sighs and reaches over the booth to pat Derek's shoulder. "We all know you're mister Piny McPinerton, Derek. Safe to say that you pine so hard whenever you're into someone, and you never put yourself out there in the end; and calling him a gentleman caller sort of gets the semblance of a mutual connection going on. Anyway, back to my point here, tell me about him."

Derek bites his lip for a second, thinking. He's probably going to end up regretting his decision, but fuck it. "He, uh, he works in the IT department."

Laura's face lights up because holy shit, Derek is actually _sharing_.

"His name is Stiles Stilinski." Derek says with a small cough, hiding part of his face behind his hand. This is probably a hundred perfect the most embarrassing thing he has ever done in his twenty-five years of life. "He wears these ridiculous beanies to work all the time and is really clumsy and sarcastic. He's sort of lanky and tall, and he has the most ridiculous hair I've ever seen. He's sort of geeky too, really into comics and t.v. shows and―Laura, why are you smiling at me like that?"

"You're just so cute." Laura coos, reaching over to pinch Derek's cheek. He moves out of the way before she can and just stares at her with a wide-eyed expression, eyebrows lifted high. "I've never actually heard you talk about someone you like. It's adorable. I want to meet him."

"What? No. No way in hell, Laura."

She pouts and lets out a huff. "Aw, why not?"

"Because I don't want you to scare him away."

Their waiter comes up to them, and Derek is so grateful. Laura stares at him with a look that screams ' _later_ ' and he knows the conversation isn't over. Although it seems like she's letting the subject drop for now, which is fine by Derek. He'll try to avoid it for as long as possible. Apparently though, as long as possible only means fifteen minutes, because as soon as the waiter brings them their food she starts back up again.

Derek is biting into his burger when the questions start again.

"Okay, so I totally resent that whole 'scare him away' thing, but if you don't want to introduce me to this Stiles, can you at least show me what he looks like? Because I really need to assess my little brother's mate picking skills here. And if he ends up being ugly, I'll totally make fun of you forever. Actually, I'll probably make fun of you even if he ends up cute. Either way, you lose." Laura says with a grin, picking at her fries and flicking one off her plate. "So, pictures. Let me see 'em."

Derek frowns. "I don't have any?"

"What do you mean you don't have any?"

"What I mean is," Derek says, putting the burger back on the plate. "I don't have any pictures. I don't take pictures of him while he's not paying attention. It's weird and not to mention an invasion of privacy." He doesn't mention the bact that he could look up  the picture Stiles had to take for his company I.D. Hey, what Laura doesn't know won't hurt her.

"Fine. You think Erica has any? I should ask her later." Laura hums.

"I wouldn't put it past her to have a few." Derek mumbles, reaching over to try to snatch Laura's strawberry milkshake. She bat his hand away.

"Nope. Mine." Laura chides. "You should have ordered your own, instead of getting that stupid water."

Stupid water? _God_ , what is she, five?

"Laura," Derek sighs. "I just wanted a sip."

"Not my problem, brother o' mine. Buy your own."

"You are a terrible sister."

"I am the best sister."

She smiles and downs the rest of her milkshake.

* * *

D.H.S.L. is somewhat officially started after Lydia and Laura meet. It's accidental, as most things in Derek's life are, but it's pretty much the catalyst for D.H.S.L. because Lydia and Laura are devils with terribly smart minds. Cora and Erica join in not long after, Erica out of a sense of BFF duty, and Cora because she's just bored and needs something to entertain her for a while. He isn't exactly sure how Allison and Kira are roped into the entire mess, though.

Either way, it starts out mostly normal, and seemingly innocent.

Laura is sprawled out on Derek's desk, successfully obscuring the computer screen Derek is trying to read.

"Hey, Derek, can you please just take your break already? You were supposed to take it like half an hour ago, and it's physically hurting me to watch you work so hard." Laura whines, turning over on the desk. "And you promised me that we were going to go to lunch. I'm hungry, Der."

"Okay, fine, let me just finish this really fast." He grumbles. "And please get off my desk, I can't see the screen."

"Party pooper." Laura mumbles, but she complies anyway, rolling off the desk and landing on the floor with a thud. "Owie."

Derek snorts. "You deserved that."

"And you deserve to have your spleen ripped from your body, Der." Laura yells from the floor.

Derek rolls his eyes. "Oh, I'm shaking in my shoes."

He spends a few more minutes quickly finishing up as much work as possible before Laura can start complaining again. With a resigned sigh, he pushes himself away from the computer and pulls his jacket out from behind his chair as he stands. "Come on. The lunch rush should be starting to clear out around now anyway. Maybe I can finally get you to stop complaining so much."

Laura, who miraculously enough is still on the floor messing around with her phone, looks up at him with a grin. She pockets the phone and pushes herself off the ground excitedly and bounces on her heels. "Well, let's go then. I am _starving_ because you refused to feed me almost an hour ago."

"If I let you pick the place, will you stop complaining?" Derek asks with a sigh, tugging on his jacket.

"You're funny." Laura smiles sweetly, patting his shoulder. "I'm going to pick the place _anyway_."

Derek rolls his eyes but grabs the keys off the desk anyway, and Laura, that little witch, just smiles because she knows she won. He knows she would have picked out the place no matter what happened. She skips behind him as he walks out of the room.

 She skips past him as he takes the time to lock up his office.

"Hey, where's Erica?" Laura asks.

Derek turns back to look at Erica's empty desk. "Lunch, probably. Come on, let's go."

He starts to walk, and that's when he runs straight in Lydia.

She's holding a bundle of folders that almost fall out of her hands as she bumps into him. With a glare, she turns up to look at him, and then he glare disappears into an amused smile. Derek feels like his life is in danger. Probably.

"Mr. Hale." Her smile is tight and smug.

Derek nods back at her, trying to avoid eye contact. Instead, he looks at Laura, which is a bad idea. Laura's eyes are flitting between Lydia and Derek, and they're shining with interest and curiosity. Oh no. No, Derek can absolutely not have that. "Hello. Well, we have to get going now. It was nice seeing you." Derek mumbles and drags Laura away by the sleeve of her shirt.

Lydia raises a brow at him, but then shrugs and continues to walk down one of the halls.

It takes Laura a few seconds to recollect herself. With a few surprised blinks, her face morphs into deep curiosity. She grins at Derek. "Who was that?"

"I don't know?" The statement sound sunsure, even to Derek's ears.

Oh shit he's screwed.

"Really?" Laura asks with a click of her tongue. Her eyebrows lift up in amusement, and she makes Derek feel like he's been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Or worse (because he has been caught doing worse, not that he wants to talk about it). Laura grins at him and says, "Because it sort of looks like you were trying not to make any eye contact with her. You avoided her. Like the plague."

"Laura, drop it. Please."

"Fine. I'll drop it, for now." Laura pouts. "But don't think for a second this little conversation is over."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." Derek says with a roll of his eyes.

"Hey, get rid of that sarcasm, mister. Or I'm telling everyone in this office about the time you got drunk and got stuck in a tree. In your underwear. When it was fifty degrees out and you almost cried."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"If I tell you will you drop this entire thing?" Derek makes a pained face when Laura nods frantically. "Fuck. Okay, her name is Lydia Martin, and she knows I like Stiles. There you go. Now can we forget this forever?"

Laura is quiet for a moment, a bunch of different emotions flashing across her face: amusement, disbelief, and something akin to protectiveness. She biter her lip and looks back at the way Lydia left and says, "I'm going after her." before running off. Derek doesn't even have a second to stop and think before she's sprinting down the hall at full speed.

"Laura wait!"

He takes off running after her. But it's too late, by the time Derek manages to catch up with her. She's standing on front of Lydia, arms crossed and face stoic. Lydia though, Lydia seems completely ecstatic to be right where she it. For fuck's sake, she's practically glowing. Derek does not like the look on Lydia's face; it's bringing a looming sensation of doom over his head.

When he finally gets within earshot, he can tell he missed a part of their conversation, but he can pretty much pinpoint what's happening at the moment. And it's nothing good.

"Well, I am aware of Mr. Hale's feelings for Stiles, if that is what you're referring to." Lydia says, lips pressed together in a smug smile. When she sees Derek approaching with a panicked disposition about him, she turns her smile to him. "See, the thing is, I was going to wait for some time. Let this steam for a while, but I guess I have no choice but to do this now."

"Do what now?" Laura snaps.

"Well, let you know about my plan, of course." Lydia shrugs.

For a second, Derek thinks she wants something from. While he supposes in the end it's true, what she wants isn't exactly what he expects. "Plan?"

"See, the thing is, I _know_ Stiles. He's a close friend. I can tell you his birthday or his favorite color. Hell, I could even tell you his most embarrassing drunk moment, but that is beside the point." Lydia explains, and Derek is a little worries she's told on him, until she continues. "I want him to be happy, because he hasn't really been in a healthy relationship for a while. That thing with Malia blew up in his face. Heather cheated. And with Caitlin, the passion was short lived. But I've been watching you Derek Hale, like a hawk. You seem gentle and caring and nice, and just what Stiles needs in his life."

It takes a minute for everything to sink in.

"You... want to hook me up with Stiles?"

 _Ding_!

"Bingo."

"Oh fuck." Laura snorts, and when Derek whips around to look at her, he's frightened for what the future holds. Because Laura is smiling. "This is fucking perfect. Like literally, I have never heard something so amazing in my life. I am totally adopting you..."

"It's Lydia." Lydia supplies with a smile.

"You are officially mine. There is no backing out of this." Laura waves her fingers at Lydia, who seems pretty content with the prospect.

She purses her lips and starts walking down the hall. "Walk and talk with me. We can scheme."

"Can do."

"You wanna see a picture of Stiles?"

"Hell yeah. Derek says he doesn't have any."

"Yeah, like I believe that. Anyway, here."

Derek sees Lydia hand Laura a phone as they continue down the hall. She practically squeals in delight.

"Good job, Der!" She calls out down the hall. "He's a keeper, and I just love those moles."

By the time they've disappeared down the hall completely, Derek is left wondering what the hell just happened.

* * *

Somehow, by the end of it all, Laura and Lydia are practically best friends, Erica is somehow dragged into all of this. Not that she minds, of course.

And then Cora joins in for some reason beyond Derek's understanding. Probably Laura's blackmailing skills at work.

Everything goes to hell after that.

* * *

How Derek ends up with six girls sitting in his apartment, he will never know. All he knows is that his liquor supply (which wasn't even the high to begin with) is dwindling by the second as it flows freely between the women. And that isn't even the best part. Oh no, the best part is that every single person in that room has made it their life goal to get him laid by a spastic IT boy. He's squished in between Cora and Laura on his couch and _God_ , why is this his life?

"So, meet our target: Stiles Stilinski." Lydia says and a blown up picture of Stiles' face pops up Derek's television screen, because apparently Lydia make a power point and hooked her laptop to his television (but, the picture is actually sort of cute). "He is five feet, eleven inches tall, has ADHD and is incredibly smart. According to him, he's single, and he also mentioned, I quote "already married in my head, so don't bother". What a shocker."

"He's cute. Nice job, Derek." Cora says, and Derek completely forgot she hadn't even seen Stiles up until that point. And Derek is also pretty sure she's just here for the free booze, and that that comment was at least thirty percent sarcasm.

Kira smiles, wide and innocent, and exclaims, "He's also really funny!"

Allion nods in agreement.

This is actually his first time he's met both Kira and Allison. From what Derek can tell, both of them also know Stiles, and have pretty much volunteered for the whole _mission_. Apparently, Allison is Lydia's best friend, which also explains her being there. Derek isn't sure what to think of them, but they seem like fairly decent people, unlike Lydia or Laura (or Erica and Cora for that matter).

Erica snorted and took a drink of her champagne. "Oh, yeah, a real comedian, that one."

Derek gets the sudden urge to defense Stiles, even if he isn't present. He ignores it.

"Focus, ladies." Lydia snaps. "We are on a mission."

"Mission?" Erica asks, brows quirking.

"Yes, a mission to get our boss, or in some cases, our brother, laid." Lydia explains and it looks like she's serious. Derek opens his mouth to speak and Lydia cuts him off with a, "No, Derek, you don't get a say in this."

"Nice to know my opinion is deeply valued."

Lydia smiles at him. "You're welcome. Anyway, Derek here has been pretty much into him since―"

"Since he started working there, a few months ago." Erica finishes, much to Derek's dismay. "And we all knows Stiles pretty much feels the same, but for whatever reason Derbear here just doesn't want to believe that someone legitimately nice is into him."

Derek ignores the look of pity that Laura casts in his direction.

Allison raises her hand.

"Yes, Allison?" Lydia nods.

"We should get Scott involved. He's Stiles' best friend, he knows the most about him from all of us. I think he'd be useful." Allison prompts, twisting a strand of hair between her fingers. Derek has no idea who Scott is but no, no he should not get involved. Then Derek would sort of want to impress him because for fuck's sake, he's Stiles' _best friend_ and Derek _has_ to get on his good side.

Lydia shakes her head. "Getting your ex-boyfriend and Kira's current boyfriend in on this operation is a terrible idea in many ways. The main one being, there is no way in hell he'd manage to keep his mouth shut around Stiles. Stiles is his best friend, he'd know something was up in a second and then Scott would just crack under all the pressure. Also, he wouldn't even be helpful, he'd just make out with Kira, and we need her sweet, upbeat, positive attitude, because let's face it, the rest of us are just demons with pretty faces."

Derek wouldn't even argue with that analogy.

Kira smiles. "Oh! I have an idea. I could just worm info out of Scott without telling him what we're up to. He's pretty easy to trick."

Lydia's eyes widen and she nods, lips curling back into a smirk "That is brilliant. Never mind, we're all demons with pretty faces. Kira's just better at hiding it."

Kira smiles again, not looking the slightest bit offended.

"I should fire all of you." Derek grumbles.

All the girls laugh like he doesn't actually have their employment in his hands.

"Can't fire Cora and I, just an FYI." Laura says, reaching over Derek and poking Cora's cheek. Cora bats her hand away and rolls her eyes. "Siblings for life, you know."

"Please get out of my house."

They spend over an hour talking strategy and technique, among other more normal topics. Derek mostly just sits there, still and as a board, until Cora shoves a beer into his hands. Eventually he loosens up, and maybe actually starts to enjoy himself. Just a little bit. But not by much, because after the alcohol settles in, the code names are given out. Somehow, Derek ends up with Alpha (which he secretly thinks is pretty cool, but he would never say that out loud because it's a little embarrassing).

"I want to be Alpha!" Laura complains with a scowl.

"Deal." Derek grumbles.

"No!" Lydia snaps, lips tight. Derek can tell she might be just the tiniest annoyed with the dynamic Hale trio.

"But―"

"Laura, you can be Wolf, if you want." Lydia cuts her off with a sigh.

Laura's lips pucker a bit as mumbles, "Okay, fine."

"Can I be Beta?" Cora asks.

"Sure. Fine." Lydia shrugs.

By the end of it, everyone has their code names picked out and they seem fairly happy with them Erica is Catwoman; Allison is Huntress; Kira is Kitsune; Laura is Wolf; Cora is Beta; Lydia is Banshee. And Derek? Derek wants to curl up in a ball and cry because this is all so ridiculous and he can't believe it. Really, he can't. But he has no choice, because he knows the girls are going to do whatever they want.

"Okay guys, next meeting is Saturday. Someone bring snacks because there is no way in hell I am drinking beer every single time I have to spent time in Derek's apartment. Seriously, I'll get bloated and it won't be pretty." Lydia says with a flourish. "Anyway, I will see you guys Saturday."

And thus, operation _Derek Hale's Sex Life_ (D.H.S.L. for short) way underway.

* * *

The girls work like a pair of ninjas, and Derek is so fucking sure that they're going to be the end of him.

Except that, the thing is, they also take at least a few minutes out of their day just to stop by the office and say hello before shooting off back to work. It's sort of nice, this tentative friendship they all have going on. But it's a mix of friendship and some weird covert operation involving Derek's dick, so he really doesn't understand how his life came to this.

But, he's happy. Granted, he still hasn't gotten into Stiles' pants (because that would just be icing on the theoretical cake, now wouldn't it?), but he's pretty content with his life at the moment.

Over the course of the rest of the month, Derek is pushed into situations with Stiles left and right. Lydia takes to calling the situations missions. From riding in the same elevator all the way down to the first floor, to walking through the parking lot together because apparently their cars happened to be parked right next to each other. Derek also happened to run into Stiles at his favorite coffee shop last week. Though, Derek isn't sure if that last one was pure coincidence or not, because Lydia never brought it up at their biweekly D.H.S.L. meetings.

Also, the fact that Derek now has to pencil "D.H.S.L. meeting 8-10" into his schedule is just so beyond his belief. But by the end of the month Derek has burned through the first five missions, and they just seem to be getting more blatant and risky, and he is pretty much lost. He has literally lost control of his life at that point.

So of course things sort of spiral out of control after that.

* * *

**Mission Six: Derek's Computer Breaks (via Lydia Martin)**

Derek's arm hurts, most likely from all the exercise he'd been doing at the gym ( _hey_ , he's allowed hobbies outside of pining for Stiles Stilinski, okay). He moves it around a bit, trying to dull the sharp pain. Then the door snaps open and Derek recoils, arm hitting the back wall with a thud and ( _oh my God that hurts like hell_ ) a shock of pain made it's way up his arm. "Ow." Derek grimaces in pain and glances up to see Lydia walk through the door, holding up a box of tools in her hands and a look of ferocious determination etched out on her face.

"Derek. It's time to implement Mission Six." She says, as if it explains everything. "I only have ten minutes because I have to get down to a meeting and I'm not sure how much longer Stiles will be free to come up here, because if he isn't here to fix this, then this entire operation is ruined."

When she walks around and drops to the floor, Derek can only stare in confusion. His brain manages to reboot itself when he sees Lydia start to tamper with his computer, pulling things out and fiddling with the wires. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Concentrating, Hale. Please stop talking." She snaps, still messing around.

"Concentrating on what? Fucking up my computer?" Derek asks. "Lydia, for God's sake stop it. It's one thing for you to mess around with my personal life, but this is company property and you could get in serious trouble if you can't fix it. Jesus, just stop."

"Too late."

Everything is silent for a moment. Then Derek's computer just fizzles out and dies. The screen blinks on and off for a few seconds before blacking out completely and letting out a clicking sound. Derek's mouth falls open. " _Lydia_. What the hell did you do to my computer? Do you realize I have a lot of important information on there that I really need to access?"

"Oh, would you just relax and trust me for just a minute?" Lydia asks with a roll her eyes and starts to place the tools back into the box. Afterwards, she closes the toolbox and brushes at the dust on her skirt before getting up off the floor. "I wouldn't have done this if I didn't trust Stiles' abilities to fix this little mess. All your documents and porn will be fine, Derek."

Porn? "Porn?"

"Okay, so you're probably not dumb enough to download porn on a company computer, and you've never filed a request to have your computer wiped of all cookies, but you know what? There are some disgusting people in this building who have pretty much no shame." Lydia's nose crinkles in disgust. Derek would think it was cute if he didn't know she was the devil incarnate. "Anyway, I'll make sure Stiles is down here to fix it in less than thirty minutes."

Derek sighs, resigning to the fact that his fate is in the hands of Lydia. "Don't you have a meeting to get to?"

"That I do." Lydia says, picking up the toolbox from the ground. "See you later, Derek. I expect a full report later."

She leaves to do whatever the hell she was planning on doing. Derek is left to wonder what the hell is wrong with her.But she's true to her word, because Stiles comes stumbles into the office fifteen minutes later with a toolbox in his arms and a nervous grin. Except, the thing is, Kira comes in trailing behind him, an apologetic look on her face. Lydia is probably going to explode when she finds out.

"Uh, hey, Mr. Hale!" Stiles says, holding up the toolbox for Derek to see. "I am here to fix your computer. Of course I am. I kinda brought my friend Kira along, just in case. Don't worry she works in the IT department too, so it's fine."

"Of course. Don't let me get in your way, then."

Stiles grins sheepishly at Derek and makes his way around the desk to get at Derek's computer, Kira following behind him, and when Stiles isn't looking she looks at Derek and mouths, "I'm so sorry."

Derek nods, because he understands she was sort of between a rock and a hard place, and saying no to Stiles would probably arise in copious amounts of questioning on Stiles' part. Sometimes Derek wants to damn himself to hell for falling in love with such a curious person. But that is neither here nor there, because Derek is in too deep to pull out of those dumb things called feelings, and Lydia is involved so it doesn't give him much of a choice.

Stiles drops to the floor and unceremoniously drops his toolbox next to him. It makes a loud clacking noise. When Stiles turns his attention to the computer and Kira bends down to sit next to him, looking awkward and uncomfortable, Derek manages to slip out of the office without being noticed.

Erica is sitting at her desk clicking through some files when Derek approaches her. "Erica."

She blinks, her mascara covered eyelashes brushing against her forehead, and looks up at him with this _face_ and Derek has a feeling he's about to be scolded. Which is ridiculous because he's a grown ass man who works for a successful company.

"Aren't you supposed to be in your office romancing it up with Stilinski?" Erica asks with a brow raised. "Or am I forgetting something?"

"You aren't." Derek grits out. "I just, I can't talk to him. And Kira's in there."

Erica looks up at Derek, eyes full of surprise. "Kira? Why the hell is she in there?"

"I'm pretty sure Stiles just didn't want to alone in a room with me." Derek grumbles. "I think he just begged Kira to tag along, and she was sort of stuck about what she was supposed to do."

Erica's lips pull back into a grimace. "Eh, Lydia's not going to be too happy when she hears about this."

"Tell me about it." He snorts.

"Just, go back in there. I guess?" Erica shrugs. "Not exactly sure what you're supposed to do in this situation, but avoiding it and hanging out with me is obviously not the answer. So hop to it, boss."

"Hop to what, exactly?"

" _Flirting_ , obviously. I think."

"No. I'm not going to _flirt_ with Kira in the same room. That isn't happening."

"Well, then just deal with it. But you have to go back in there because if Lydia finds out you just bailed, she will not be happy. Then Laura will probably get involved and everything will go to hell. And that's just the best case scenario. Just go back in there and, I don't know, improvise."

Derek, after a few moments of feeling extreme self doubt and panic and a mix of other emotions he can't name, manages pull himself together. Somewhat. With an displeased grimace, he turns and walks away, making his way back into the office. Stiles and Kira glance up from the computer they're pouring over when they hear the door open.

Stiles is the first to speak. "I didn't notice that you left."

"I had something to go over with my secretary." Derek says flippantly with a small shrug of his shoulders. As excuses/lies go, it's one of Derek's personal best.

"Ah." Stiles nods in understanding before looking back down at the computer. Derek can't really see what he's doing, but he looks very concentrated on the situation, and his glasses are starting to slip a little, so Derek just lets it be.

Kira though, seems to understand that Derek went to attempt to rendezvous with _Catwoman_ (they don't actually use the code names, and Derek is pretty sure they just picked them out because they were a little buzzed and very bored) for advice about how to deal with everything, if the look on her face is anything to go by. Sometimes Derek is grateful that she's just as easy to read as he is. Kira is basically an open book to anyone that bothers to look for half a second, and that's something he likes about her.

While Stiles tampers and Kira panics, Derek stands in the corner of the room, stiff and unmoving. He already figures this mission is a bust, so why even bother. It's best just to let Sties finish his work so he and Kira can leave, and Derek can get back to work. He's still for almost ten minutes, waiting for Stiles to leave. Except, it seems like Stiles is having a bit of trouble because whereas it only took Lydia ten minutes to cause the problem, Stiles' time is leaking well into twenty minutes. It's pretty much torture, if Derek's being honest.

"Honestly," Stiles mumbles. "what in the world did you do to this computer?"

Derek holds back the snort that threatens to come up. He didn't do anything, everything is Lydia's fault.

"It just did that while I was going through some files." Derek lies with a shrug.

"What was it? Porn?"

Why the hell does everyone in the IT department think that the entirety of the company's workers only spend their time looking up porn and fucking up their computers in the process? And to top is all off, Derek doesn't even like porn that much, and he's not dumb enough to look it up a work.

Derek really has to have a talk with his employees about how the computers can or cannot be used. Or at least block all the porn websites.

"No." Derek answers, eyebrows raised.

"That was a little too personal. Sorry." Stiles coughs, face pink.

It takes Stiles a few more moments before he speaks again. Derek's shoulders sag a little as he gets more comfortable. "So, if you weren't busy googling porn, what were you doing?"

He sounds genuinely curious, and Derek lets out a snort. "Well, unlike more people in this building it seems, I was actually doing work."

Stiles hums. "That's a first."

"What do you do on your computer then?" Derek asks. He's actually sort of curious.

"Well, it's at least seventy percent work, five percent porn, and twenty five perfect cute animal videos. Except the thing is, since I'm a tech expert I don't have to suffer through the embarrassment of having to call someone down to fix my computer." Stiles shrugs and grins at Derek. If he notices the way the tips of Derek's ears go pink, he certainly doesn't say anything.

"Stiles, why don't you just―" Kira bends forward and tinkers around with something that Derek can't really see, but Stiles looks like a lightbulb just went off in his head.

He laughs happily. "Kira you are a life saver! I would kiss you if you weren't taken by my best friend and if I was, you know, into you like that."

Kira giggles.

Stiles dives right back to work and manages to fix the computer in record time. "There! Back in top shape. I deserve a pat on the back, if I do say so myself."

Derek smiles softly.

Stiles pushes himself off the floor and brushes off his pants. "Well, I have to get back to work."

Derek nods and makes his way to open the office door. "I appreciate it."

When Stiles collects his toolbox and leaves, Kira sort of lingers, walking out of the room slowly. Derek trails behind her, curious to see what she's doing. When Kira leaves the office, instead of heading down the hall and following Stiles, she makes a beeline for Erica's desk. She crashes against it with a gasp, effectively making Erica jump in surprise and stare up at her with a confused look on her face.

"That amount of sexual tension in that room was unbelievable." Kira gasps. "They were talking about _porn_ and I felt like they were going to jump each other at any moment."

Erica laughs and her lips pull back into a full on smirks. "Welcome to my world."

Derek has the decency to blush, at least.

* * *

Turns out, Lydia is not impressed. At all.

Derek is just grateful that she takes out all of her frustration on him, and not Kira.

* * *

**Mission Nine: Push Them Into An Empty Room And Hope For The Best ("Great Plan You Got There, Erica.")**

It's a Tuesday afternoon and Derek is pretty much going through all of his work like a machine, barely taking a break. He just wants to get his work done as soon as possible so he can get home and into a pair of sweats. And maybe marathon the entirety of a television show and gorge on chinese food. Maybe.

Of course then Erica comes in a ruins his dreams.

Her head pops through the door, blond curls bounding. "Meeting at six, boss."

"With?"

"I don't know. Do I look like an all seeing mystical being to you? No, exactly. But it's on your schedule, right here." Erica scoffs, lifting up her tablet for Derek to see. She points at a spot on the screen, her red painted nail clicking against it. "So, get ready. I have to get you there in fifteen minutes, so chop chop."

"Don't you think you could have told me this sooner, Erica?" Derek asks with an irritated sigh.

"I could have, but I maybe forgot a little bit." Eica shrugs.

Derek smiles, tight and fake. "Yeah, just a little bit. Fuck it, let's just get this over with, whatever it is."

He pushes himself away from the desk and stands, straightening out his jacket as he follows Erica out the door and into a hallway. He doesn't suspect anything is wrong until he sees Stiles also heading down the same hallway. The hallway notorious for people avoiding.

Oh fuck.

Stiles walks up to them with a confused frown, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Lydia said she wanted me to cover for her at some meeting. She just told me to come down this hall and that you would tell me where to go."

Erica smiles wildly. "Oh, of course. It's just that room down the hall. Mr. Hale was just heading there. You go on Derek, I'll catch up with you after the meeting."

And Derek is stupid enough to believe there's actually a meeting. He nods and heads down the hall, Stiles trailing behind him nervously. Erica waves at them while they walk away and turns back around and walks away. And Derek just thinks that maybe they just managed to rope the two to sit next to each other for an hour during the meeting. Hell, maybe they'd even manage whisper a thing or two to each other.

But no.

The moment they walk into the _empty_ room, the door shuts behind them loudly. Stiles jumps at the loud sound before scrambling over to it and jiggles the handle a bit. He frowns, and Derek knows that is not good at all.

"It's locked."

Erica is fucking terrible. She is the worst best friend in history and Derek is going to probably fire her and murder her. He will murder and not bother to hide the body and then run away into the woods to avoid the law. Yeah, he's decided he's totally going to do that. About a hundred different ways to kill her cross through his mind before Stiles speaks again.

"Maybe your assistant got the room wrong?" Stiles asks, jiggling the door handle again like it was going to magically open the door.

"Yeah, maybe." Derek grumbles in annoyance.

"Well, we could just keep continuously knocking on the door and hope someone walks by and hears us." Stiles suggest.

"Yeah," Derek snorts. "except nobody ever bothers to walk down this hallway. We'd just tire ourselves out in the process."

"You're right. For some reason everyone seems to avoid this hallway like the plague." Stiles mumbles. He collapses into one of the chairs and thumps his head against the table. "So now what?"

Derek shrugs off his jacket and lays it on the table before sitting down a few seats away from Stiles. "Do you have your phone on you? You could call someone maybe." _If Lydia and Erica don't already have everyone sworn to obedience, that is_.

Stiles' face lights up, and Derek almost thinks he's been saved of at least an hour sitting in a room with Stiles. That is, until Stiles starts to pat at his pockets and the happy look on his face slowly diminishes into panicked eyes and a deep frown. Then he starts to laugh and bangs his head on the table again. " _Fuck_. Fuck, I totally forgot my phone at my desk. Of course I did."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. I sort of forgot mine too, so we're even."

"So, what now?" Stiles asks, blowing a raspberry.

"Well, we could just wait until Erica notices I'm missing and she comes looking for me." Derek answers, Even though he knows that Erica knows full well what the situation is. Oh well, you don't really fight against Lydia's wishes, You just endure them for a while until she's satisfied.

"Let's play twenty one questions!" Stiles says suddenly. 

"Yeah. Sure. You start."

After twenty questions (Derek pegged down the answer in twelve questions actually, a werewolf) Stiles and Derek just talk. About random things, and anything else they can come up with. The conversations progress normally, and they start off with one thing and end up on a completely different and unrelated topic. Derek eventually gets comfortable enough, and he starts to laugh and joke, and Stiles, bless his soul, is laughing and joking just as much as Derek.

And that's how he ends up talking with Stiles for over an hour about a lot of seemingly unimportant things. Stiles talks about television shows he loves. Derek talk about his sisters. Stiles talks about his friends. Derek talks about his hobbies. They go back and forth for a long time, and Derek doesn't know when he's last felt so carefree about everything.

Eventually, when Erica comes back, Stiles has finished up recounting a story about how he once got so drunk he decided to try and climb a tree and broke his arm. It reminds Derek about the time he climbed a tree drunk.

"It was brutal. Completely and utterly brutal. It also hurt like hell, to be honest." Stiles admits, rubbing his arms.

"I'm not surprised." Derek snorts. "Why the hell would you think that was a good idea?"

"I was drunk and a freshman in college, and I hadn't gained my freshman fifteen. Basically, I thought I was invincible. Bad mistake on my part." Stiles laughs. "I did end up gaining my freshmen fifteen though, well fourteen technically. It still kind of sucked a little bit though. My friend Scott actually gained twenty, though. So I didn't do as bad as someone."

"I gained seventeen." Derek admits with a shrug.

"No way!"

That's when the door handle starts to jiggle and Stiles whispers, "We've been saved."

It's pulled open and Erica's head pops through the door. She look smug as hell, and Derek's first thought is that she is a _terrible_ actress. Honestly. "Hey! I am so so _so_ sorry about this stupid mix up. I didn't mean to lead you guys into a different office and just abandon you for like an hour. It was a complete accident, Oh my God. And the meeting is already over, holy crap."

Stiles only shrugs and pushes himself off  his seat. "It's fine. I've been getting to know Derek a little, so it's actually not a complete bust." He grins at Derek, and Derek smiles back fondly. "But I guess this means I have to go back to work now and explain everything to Lydia. Which sucks. Bye Derek! And for your own good, please watch the list of movies I am _so_ going to be emailing you. Because seriously dude, you need to live."

And with that he skips out of the door and down the hall.

Erica smirks at him. "That looks like it went well."

"Please shut up. And know I hate you for this. So much."

"I can live with that."

The mantra "murder, murder, murder" runs through Derek's mind as he walks past her and out the door.

* * *

 

Between the missions, and especially after the Mission Nine, Derek actually talks to Stiles. It just becomes more and more easier, and Derek actually finds his comfort zone with Stiles growing. He doesn't tell the ladies about it, but he feels like he and Stiles are making actual, honest progress in their relationship. Sometimes, when Stiles sees Derek in the morning, he waves at him and tells him all about his day the night before.

"I marathoned pretty much the entirety of Parks and Rec. It was awesome."

"Zachary Quinto's eyebrows in the Star Trek reboot are pretty much my reason for living."

"I saw Pulp Fiction last night!"

"My best friend came over and I made him watch Fight Club. For some reason he only watches romantic comedies. Not that I blame him, but seriously at least have a little variety in your life."

"I started a new show yesterday. So far, it's looking promising."

"I watched so much LoTR last night I may or may not have fallen asleep at three in the morning. Still not sure if it was worth it or not."

And sometimes, Derek talks back (even though he's perfectly fine with letting Stiles do most of the talking).

"I haven't actually seen that many cult classic films."

"I went out for a jog."

"Dogs are my favorite animal, alongside wolves actually."

"To be sort of honest, I live off pizza and coffee."

"I really like to bake."

That last one made Stiles practically melt on the floor, and ended up with Derek smiling like a madman.

They make a lot of progress. Hell, Derek actually considers Stiles a friend at that point (even though he desperately want to be more). It's nice.

* * *

**~~Mission Ten~~ : DEREK FUCKS EVERYTHING UP (Note: This May Be A Slight Over Exaggeration, Lydia. - Ally A)**

He doesn't. Okay, yeah he does. So, as per usual, Derek decides the entire operation can fuck off and accidentally tells Stiles he likes him. In a romantic sense. Oops. But, under no circumstance does Derek actually believe his actions fuck everything up. Actually, if anything, they are the catalyst for his blossoming relationship with Stiles (of which he in not currently aware will happen).

In any case, everything begins fairly normal. Derek is leaning against a desk on the first floor, near the entrance, when Stiles skips in through the door and walks over to Derek with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey, Derek." Stiles smiles brightly, and Derek feels like the sun has washed over him.

He nods. "Stiles."

Stiles leans against the counter, his arms splayed out across the surface. "So, funny thing happened to me this morning."

"Yeah?"

Stiles nods frantically, and then shoots off into this strange story about some toast and a pair of socks and Derek is only half listening because he's a little busy staring directly at Stiles' face.

Suddenly Derek has an idea. Lydia had actually recently tasked Derek with Mission Ten, which was to not so stubbly hint to Stiles that Derek is interested. Except, Derek is so high off happiness right now, and the feeling has just bubbled up and grew and Derek just can't take it anymore. He has to tell Stiles. Even if he's setting himself up for rejection, at least he'll know he tried. True, it won't dull the heartache if he is rejected, but still.

"I want you." He admits as he cuts off Stiles in the middle of his story, and he regrets those fucking words the moment they leave his mouth.

Stiles' eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and his mouth falls open. "What?"

"I've," Derek sucks in a breath. "I've always wanted you. Romantically speaking."

Silence.

"Oh."

Derek can't tell what Stiles is feeling at the moment. His face is blank, and it's really worrying the hell out of him.  _Fuck_ , fuck he was right. Rejection and heartbreak stings like a bitch, and he knew, he fucking _knew_ , but he did it anyway. God, why the hell is he still so stupidly optimistic after everything he's been through? Stiles opens his mouth to say something. but Derek cuts him off. He can't hear the words when they're written so blatantly on Stiles' face. "Fuck. Don't worry about it."

He walks away and scurries into an elevator just as it's closing. He doesn't look back.

* * *

Kira and Allison corner him in an elevator after work.

"So, how did it go? Did you complete Mission Ten? What did Stiles say?" Kira asks excitedly, latching onto his arm. Derek is pretty sure they don't even remember the fact that he's technically their boss and that they are still in a work environment. Whatever, even if they did remember, they probably wouldn't care.

"I sort of fucked up. Like really, really badly." He groans sadly, hitting his head against the elevator wall multiple times. He didn't even know it was possible to fuck up as bad as he had. But apparently it was, because he had done it. And it was so fucking brutal and humiliating and Derek just wants to go home. "Lydia is going to hate me for the rest of her natural life, I just know it."

Allison's lips curl into a sympathetic frown and Derek knows she's reading him like an open book. He's not sure if that's something he likes or hates about her. "She trusts you, she does. It's just, your social skills are a little rough around the edges. You sort of freeze up whenever you meet someone new or someone you're trying to impress. You were like that with us at first."

"Yeah! Now look at you." Kira says with a smile. "You're talking to us like normal."

Derek grumbles, "Well, yeah but―"

"But nothing, mister." Allison chides, but is doing nothing to hide that happy smile on her face. "It's fine, you'll get it eventually."

"Sure, you say that know, but wait until you hear about how badly I fucked up." Derek snorts, no actual amusement behind it. He's just sad.

Kira touches his arm. "What did you do?"

Derek laughs humorlessly and throws his head back against the wall. It crashes with a loud thud. "I told Stiles I wanted him, and then I ran away. I fucking ran away because I couldn't handle to possibility of getting rejected. I'm a fucking idiot."

Kira frowns sadly, her grip on his arm tightening. "Oh, Derek. Don't say that."

"But it's true." He shrugs. "I'm not ready for a relationship. I probably never will be again."

Allison pulls him in for a hug, which Derek finds weird because he's never been very physical with Allison. Of course, they talk, and he considers her a good friend, but they've never been very touchy-feely with each other. But, in any case, he gives in to her touch and wraps his arms around her and melts into her touch. It feels nice, to get hugged. "Derek, you're amazing. Never say something like that again."

"Okay. Yeah, okay."

He wants to cry.

"Look at me." Allison says slowly, and Derek silently obeys. "My aunt wasn't your fault. Not everyone is her, okay? She was way out of line and now she's where she deserves to be, and you're where you deserve to be."

"And where is that?" His voice cracks a little.

Allison smiles. "Surrounded by people who care about you."

"How about we go over to your apartment today?" Kira asks suddenly, moving her hair behind her ear. "Not as a part of D.H.S.L., but as good friends? We could watch those chick flicks you love so much!"

Derek would argue that he doesn't love romcoms, but Laura already told everyone, and Erica found his stash and showed it to everyone in the apartment, all twenty movies, so there was no point in denying it. His secret was out (and romcoms are funny and romantic and he enjoys them, dammit).

"Fine." He grumbles. "Just don't invite Lydia. I can only see The Notebook so many times before I start getting tired of it."

(Somewhere out there, a Jackson Whittemore nods sympathetically.)

"I know what you mean." Allison nods. "I mean, I love that girl, really I do, but I can't take another _second_ of that movie."

Kira only shrugs. "Personally, I love that movie. But we could watch something else, if you want! This day is about you, Derek."

"Can I invite Erica?" Derek asks, his tension beginning to dissolve.

"Sure!" Allison nods happily. "Invite your sisters, too!"

"Okay, let's just all meet up at your place at nine-ish, if that's okay with you?" Kira asks, pulling out her phone and tapping through it with quick fingers. "I can bring snacks and booze, and we'll have loads of fun!"

And boom, there it is. It's Friday, so Derek knows things might get a little crazy later on. Because no work the next morning equals a lot of bad choices the night before. And it almost surprises Derek when he realizes he doesn't care about the fact that the probability of drunk girls in his apartment throwing up in his bathroom is dangerously high. They're his friends, and he trusts them (with the exception of Erica who once threw up in his favorite potted plant and it died almost immediately after; so never again). So, almost. But not quite.

"Yeah, that's fine."

The girls smile at him and say goodbye when the elevator opens at their stop. With a wave, they get out and Derek smiles softly and goes to work. He works with a smile on his face and less weight on his shoulders. It's sort of nice.

At the end of the day, Derek goes home and quickly changes into more casual clothing and brings out snacks and alcohol for everyone. Which is actually becoming more abundant in his household after he befriended the girls. Eventually, everybody (sans Laura, because she had a date and said, "Derek's lack of a sex life isn't going to get in the way of mine.") makes their way over to Derek's apartment, and Allison even manages to convince Lydia to come  and not put on The Notebook and make everyone watch it against their will. It's a struggle, but it happens.

But, Derek is a little surprised Lydia is even there. Because Derek knows he massively fucked up, and Lydia should be yelling at him until her voice gives out, but instead she's sitting there calmly, legs crossed as she waits for a movie to be put on. Derek throws a thankful glance at Allison and Kira, who undoubtedly talked to Lydia and made her aware of the situation and calmed her down.

He doesn't actually know what he would do if Lydia yelled at him. Probably bury himself under massive piles of guilt.

"I can't believe Laura isn't here because she has a date." Cora snorts. "Who the hell wants to date that devil?"

Derek raises a brow at her. "You aren't really one to talk, Cora."

"But she does have a point." Allison admits. "I mean, right now I could be going out with Isaac, but I'm here. Not that I mind because I love spending time with you guys, but the point still stands. She should sort of be here with us."

"Yeah!" Erica exclaims, clapping her hands together. "And I could be having rigorous sex with Boyd right now, but it's BFF time!"

"Oh my God no one wants to hear that, Erica." Derek says with a cringe. Erica just laughs.

Derek doesn't mind that Laura bailed, because he understand he's just as worthy of finding love as anyone else.

"Enough talk about your gross boyfriends, let's just watch a movie already." Cora cuts in. "What the hell did you guys even bring anyway?"

"Derbear here has Netflix. We're all good." Erica explains with a wave of her hand.

They can barely manage to chose a movie, so Kira takes initiative and steals the remote from Derek's hands, choosing a movie she wants. Lydia pouts and crosses her arms when it movie is put on and starts to play (She's The Man, because Kira happens to loves the movie, and you can't really argue with Kira because it's practically illegal to hurt her feelings). "I cannot believe we're here to watch romance movies and you didn't even let me bring―"

"Lydia." Derek deadpans, staring at her with a blank expression.

"Derek." Lydia says with a roll of her eyes, her voice sounding unbelievably sarcastic. Derek stares at her until she lets out a groan and slumps in her seat. "Okay, fine. I won't bring up the movie that shall not be named."

"Thank you." Derek sighs.

"Strangely enough, I feel like this battle isn't over." Allison whispers.

"Me neither." Derek snorts.

They're chatting through most of the film, but Derek is having a good time. And Channing Tatum's face constantly on screen is also pretty cool. Cora brings out the alcohol and snacks (and Derek is pretty sure that's the only reason she showed up, actually) and they're distributed throughout the group. Derek takes the beer that's handed to him, but doesn't drink much.

And somehow, after 27 Dresses ("James Marsden is literally the love of my life. He's so hot." Allison admits with a giggle and Derek does not argue with that) and She's All That, Derek finds himself staring at the opening of The Notebook. He's a little more than buzzed, but he isn't going to be fooled easily. "Lydia! What the hell did I tell you about putting this movie on?"

"Ryan Gosling is a work of art!"

They end up watching The Notebook.

Of course they do.

But, by the end of the night, Erica is sprawled out on the couch, Cora and Kira are huddled in a corner resting against each other, Lydia called dibs on Derek's bed and disappeared, and Allison is curled up in a ball on the floor. Derek rummages through his closet for blankets to cover the girls before taking the other couch for himself. He also hides The Notebook so Lydia can never find it again, if he's lucky.

Sometimes, he almost can't believe he has friends who care enough to comfort him like this.

* * *

Derek get a text the next day after the girls leave. It's from Lydia and it reads, ' _i want my movie back, hale_ '.

It makes him laugh.

* * *

He also avoids Stiles for the rest of the week. But that's his own fucking business.

* * *

Derek wants to say all his problems come to an end on a Friday morning, a week after the girls all slept over. They don't, but it gets pretty damn close. (And in all honesty, Derek would say his slate is wiped clean of all issues, but he still has to deal with six passionate women dictating his life. Not that he minds them in his life, per say, because they are brilliant and he loves them. But Derek would sometimes like to maybe make his own decisions without Lydia or Erica or Laura breathing down his neck at all hours of the day. Maybe.)

It starts when he runs into Stiles in the elevator on his way up to his office. Things have become sort of tense after Derek accidentally admitted to liking Stiles in a more than platonic manor, and he's almost feeling like Stiles has been avoiding him. Because every single time Stiles catches sight of Derek, he veers off in the opposite direction, and Derek can't even get a word in edgewise. It sucks, and it's starting to really bum Derek out.

Stiles pushes himself into the elevator as the doors move shut, and Derek is so sure Stiles doesn't even notice Derek is _in_ the elevator until he looks up and his eyes just go wide with panic. His eyes flit back to the door, which is already closed. "Oh my God! Hey! Uh, hey."

"Good morning, Stiles." Derek says, lips pulling back into a forced smile. Stiles doesn't want to be here.

"Uh, yeah." Stiles says, rubbing the back of his neck as he moves over to stand next to Derek. Derek watches him out of the corner of his eyes, and he sees Stiles opening and closing his mouth a few times, as if he's trying to say something but can't find the right words. It's making Derek feel like a nervous wreck, but he doesn't speak out for fear of saying something else that could make the situation worse than it already is.

Then Stiles opens his mouth again and the words pour out before Derek can even think, or Stiles can even say anything to stop him. "Listen, about what I said a few days ago, I didn't mean to freak you out. At all. I mean, you don't have to force yourself to try to see this as something positive just because I'm your boss. Turning me down isn't going to make me fire you."

Stiles is silent for a moment. "Oh. Okay."

Derek isn't sure if he sounds relieved or disappointed.

"I'm sorry, You can just forget that it ever happened."

"But, like, the thing is," Stiles lets out a nervous laugh. Derek just wants to kiss him right now, but there is probably no way in Hell Stiles would agree with that. "uh, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, so I can't actually _forget_ it. And, and I've decided that you should totally kiss me. We should totally make out. Like a lot. If that's cool with you. Because it is totally cool with me, like one hundred percent."

Oh, so he stands corrected.

No, yeah Derek is like so on board for the kissing. Lots of kissing is preferable, because kissing is nice and Derek wants to kiss Stiles like burning. Speaking of kissing, why the hell isn't he kissing Stiles yet? That is completely unbelievable and Derek needs to rectify the situation immediately. By kissing Stiles. On the mouth. Right now. Stiles is staring at Derek is a ferocious intensity that Derek _really_ hopes is just Stiles trying to figure out Derek's reaction to his confession.

And Derek realizes he hasn't spoken in almost half a minute. He blinks, his brain kicking into overdrive. "Kissing. Right. We need to get on that right now."

It takes Stiles even longer to catch on. "Huh?"

Derek feels a smile slip onto his face, and he turns to look at Stiles, taking a step closer. When Stiles doesn't move away Derek moves even closer, testing his luck. Stiles just stares at Derek with eyes full of nervousness and excitement and anticipation. "Kissing. Right now."

"Yeah, okay. Okay." Stiles nods frantically and moves to wrap his arms around Derek's neck, pulling him in close. Derek's hands move to rest on Stiles' waist and he moves in to kiss him. And it turns out that kissing Stiles is sort of like floating in space, despite the fact that Stiles' glasses are pressing on his face kind of hard. It's soft and nice and it feels great and Derek feels like he can do anything when he's kissing Stiles.

Stiles pulls away and lets out a laugh, his arms still looped around Derek's neck. "I've wanted to do that ever since you started working here. I would've told you last week, but you sort of ran away and completely avoided me. Which is understandable. Seriously, though, this means that I could have been all over you for _months_. I'm a little mad I didn't take the opportunity."

Derek smiles. "Me too."

"So, then I guess we have a lot to catch up on." Stiles grins, and Derek really likes where this seems to be going.

"Yeah, I guess we do."

* * *

Everything comes to a head when all the ladies come knocking on his door at ten in the morning on a Saturday. Derek's eyes snap open at the sound of incessant knocking at his door. For a moment, he lays there, trying to drown out the knocking so he can go back to sleep. But it just keeps continuing, and with a sigh he  slowly untangles himself from Stiles, who is amazingly still sleeping through the loud noises (and also seems to cling like an octopus in his sleep because _holy shit_ Derek can't breathe).

"Hmm, what the hell is that sound?"

Oh, so he isn't asleep.

"It's nothing, Stiles. Just go back to sleep. I'll be right back." Derek whispers reassuringly, pulling on the first pair of jeans he can find. Actually, he's not even sure if the pants are his or not, but he also doesn't really care much.

Stiles lets out a groan and throws his head back against the pillow. "Okay, whatever. Just hurry up."

"Yeah, okay."

Derek smiles at Stiles, who is still mostly naked and clutching a pillow while mumbling something about the lack of warmth now that Derek was gone. There is totally some drool on the corner of his mouth, but Derek still finds it pretty endearing, the fact that Stiles is currently lying in his bed is a little unbelievable. Of course, the continuous knocking pulls him out of his lovey-dovey stupor and he scowls as he heads to the door to open it and maybe yell at whoever happens to be standing behind it.

Derek grumbles as he makes his way through his apartment because the fucking knocking just won't stop.

He unlocks the door and pulls it open and his mouth opens before he can even see who's at the door.

"What the hell do you― Oh my God."

And then he tries to shut it on their faces.

A boot blocks the door before it's fully closed. Laura's boot. The door is shoved open by a hand and Derek sees Lydia, Erica, Laura, Cora, Kira, and Allison standing in the doorway, just staring at him with blank expressions. Their eyes are zeroed in on his neck, and Derek realizes he probably has a hickey there. Or a lot of them. Either way, there is no covering up what they are, and Derek is pretty sure he's screwed.

Lydia is the first to speak. She smiles tightly. "So, I had planned on us spending the day together and having lots of laughs, but obviously you're very busy."

Derek opens his mouth, and Lydia's happy facade falls as soon as he tries to speak. Her brows furrow in anger and Derek can see the way her green eyes just light up with a burning passion. The odds of him dying right now are probably really high. He would resign to his fate if Stiles wasn't sleeping in his bed, naked.

"I swear to _God_ Hale, if you ruined my entire operation by having a dumb one night stand with some random stranger, I will castrate you." Lydia sneers and takes a step forward, hands curling into fists and jaw clenching.

"Lydia―" Derek starts.

"I have two things to say to you." Laura cuts in. "One, congrats on getting laid. Two, how could you?"

"Laura, I―"

"Are you kidding me, Derek? Are you fucking kidding me?" Erica snaps angrily. "You've been mooning over Stilinski for months, _months_ , and now that you're so close you go and throw it all away. I really hope that for your sake, you're happy."

"Erica―"

Everyone breaks out into arguments. Some of them are yelling at each other and defending Derek, others are directing their yelling at Derek, and Derek is sitting their with a panicked expression on his face and no idea how to explain to them the situation. Of course, he doesn't have to because at that moment  Stiles walks into the room in a pair of pants that are so obviously not his, rubbing his eyes sleepily. His hair is all over the place, and his pale skin does nothing to cover up the bright red stubble burn on his neck and cheeks.

"Derek, what is all that― _holy shit_ , Lydia!" Stiles squeaks, face red. "And Allison? And Kira? And Erica? And Derek's sisters? Oh my fucking God this is embarrassing."

All the fighting stops almost immediately, and the girls all put their attention to Stiles, who is standing in the middle of the hallway, frozen in shock. His entire body is flushing red with embarrassment, and he's staring at the girls with wide, frightened eyes. Derek can't help but take a moment to think how cute he looks, but he's snapped back into reality when he hears the girls squeal with delight. He's pretty sure he's probably still dead.

"Derek! Oh my God!"

Then someone hits his chest, and it actually really hurts.

"Ow."

Lydia just continues to hit him, eyes blazing and eyebrows furrowed. "Why. The. Hell. Didn't. You. Tell. Me. I deserve to know these things, Hale! I'm the one who started this whole fucking operation and you didn't think this was top priority?"

Derek snorts. "It was definitely top priority, but I was a little busy at the moment to call you."

"This isn't fucking funny!" She grunts, fist crashing against Derek's bicep.

Derek only stands there, eyes flitting between Stiles, who is still as red as a rose and fidgeting uncomfortably, and Lydia, who won't stop hitting him.

"Um, Derek?" Stiles asks, voice cracking. "Mind telling me what the hell is going on?"

Derek opens his mouth to speak, but his face is shoved away by Lydia's hand. She smiles at him sweetly. "So sorry about all, Stiles. We'll get out of your hair now. Derbear here will explain the whole situation to you."

The girls file out of the doorway, all smiling at him. It's actually sort of creeping Derek out. Lydia just walks past, head held high. Kira gives him a thumbs up with both her hands. Allison pats his shoulder lightly and smiles as she heads out. Laura and Cora both smirk at him, and Derek know his entire family is probably going to be made aware about this incident within the next hour. Erica just stares at him with a shit eating smirk on her face and mouths, "Later."

The door is slammed shut and Derek and Stiles are left in the room, alone.

"So, uh, you gonna tell me what the hell that was?" Stiles asks, confused.

Derek sighs and walks over to Stiles, placing a kiss on his forehead. "It's sort of a long story. It started that day you showed up to work with a pair of glasses..."


End file.
